As a community coach, I collaborate with rural leaders to build local capacity and engage community members in working on local priorities so their community can thrive. One of the most common topics that comes up as the groups are planning for future outcomes is their desire for unity with other community leaders. They recognize disunity as a polarizing barrier to their success as they strive to engage other individuals, organizations, or elected officials in creating a thriving community. When addressing disunity, one challenge of being a community coach is feeling the need to “fix it” because as an outsider it’s often easier for me to recognize those blind spots. However, my role is to empower individual leaders to own their failures and create solutions for putting unity back into the community.

What causes divisiveness?

Do personal disagreements turn into community standoffs? Photo by Becky McCray

So, what is it that brings disunity to a community? Below is a list of some common culprits:

• Lack of trust between leaders and community members
• Resistance to change
• Leadership immaturity
• No defined purpose or vision
• Inconsistency in meetings
• Unfulfilled promises
• Competition for resources or power
• Unclear communication methods
• Self-centered interests
• Burnout and stress
• Allowing events to railroad relationships

To address disunity as a polarizing barrier to developing a thriving community, it’s essential to name the specific causes at play from the list above and implement strategies to mitigate them. Below is a list of improvements that can be made by individuals, organizations, or elected officials to find more unity in their community:

Open Communication

The foundation of any united community is open and honest communication. Offer encouragement and opportunities for community members to express their thoughts, ideas, and concerns. Create platforms for discussion, whether through community meetings, online forums, or social events. Effective communication ensures that everyone’s voice is heard, fostering an inclusive atmosphere where decisions are made collectively.

Include Everyone

When you include everyone, what will that look like? Photo by Becky McCray

Diversity is a strength, and inclusivity is key to building unity. Celebrate and respect the differences among community members, including cultural, social, and economic diversity. Develop programs that actively involve people from all backgrounds, ensuring that everyone has a place at the table. When people feel valued and heard, unity naturally follows.

Purpose and Goals

A united community needs a clear purpose and shared goals. These goals can be as simple as improving neighborhood safety, organizing cultural events, or addressing local environmental issues. When community members work together towards a common purpose, it strengthens their sense of unity. Ensure that the goals are transparent, achievable, and reflect the diverse needs and aspirations of your community.

Connect through Collaboration

How can you help people work together across groups? Photo via Deb Brown

Create opportunities for collaboration within your community. Encourage community members to form teams and work together on projects, whether it’s a local garden, community signage, or organizing social events. Collaborations not only improve the quality of life but also foster a powerful sense of belonging and shared responsibility.

Empower and Engage

Empower community members to take ownership of their shared spaces and challenges. When individuals feel a sense of responsibility for their community, they become more invested in its well-being. Encourage people to take on leadership roles, participate in local governance, and contribute to the betterment of the community.

Inspire Learning

Promote education and awareness about programs or initiatives within your community and from resources outside the community. When community members are well-informed, they are more likely to respect and support each other’s values, leading to a stronger sense of unity.

Celebrate Achievements

Find more ways to celebrate more successes in your community. Photo courtesy of Norfolk County, Ontario.

Celebrate the milestones of your work and recognize the efforts of individuals and groups who have contributed to the betterment of the community. Regularly holding events and celebrations not only instills a sense of community pride but also reinforces the feeling of unity and camaraderie.

Conflict Resolution

No community is without its conflicts. The key to maintaining unity lies in how these conflicts are managed. Establish an impartial conflict resolution process that allows for disagreements to be addressed constructively. Mediation and open dialogue can help community members find common ground and reach mutually acceptable solutions.

Commitment to Planning

Keeping unity in the community is an ongoing process that requires long-term planning. Establish a vision for the future and work collaboratively to achieve it. Encourage community members to stay engaged and commit to building a strong, unified community for generations to come.

Building unity in a community is a transformative process. By following these essential steps, your community can create a sense of belonging and togetherness that will empower its members to thrive and make a positive impact on society.

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I spent some valuable time last month doing a bit of data discovery about rural communities. In my search I explored an interactive map* showing the percent change in total population from the 2010 to the 2020 Census at both the state and county levels. I first zoomed in to view the South Dakota county-level data – it was a mix of blue (growth) and beige (decline) county blocks spread across the east and west sides of our state. I discovered 33 of 66 counties in South Dakota had positive population growth in the past ten years!

The story of one county

Then I zoomed out to view the population change map of the United States.* I uncovered something interesting — one (and only one) darker brown county in the southernmost tip of Illinois — Alexander County – bordered by the intersection of the Ohio and Mississippi Rivers. I was curious, so I clicked on the map to see their 36.4% negative growth rate was the largest of any of the 3,138 counties across the United States. Alexander County’s 2020 total population was 5,240 compared to their 2010 total population of 8,238. That drop in population is a significant one-time decline, but the truth is Alexander County had been losing large segments of their population since its peak of 25,496 residents during the 1940s. Over eight decades, they’ve had an enormous 80% loss in their total population.

What happened?

Without living in Alexander County, it’s hard to know exactly what’s been happening, yet one author, David Szoke, writes an extraordinary viewpoint in his essay about the region’s drastic decline, titled,
Heartland Deluge: Race, Flooding, and the Two Alexander Counties, Illinois. It is a compelling read. Here’s a segment of the full essay:

“This migration illustrates the flight from rural pressures as agricultural communities struggle to combat the river’s unceasing ebb and flow. The two Alexander Counties – Cairo in the south and the smaller white towns to the north – represent two different responses to the hardships of the modern rural Midwest. Today, flooding remains the most significant shared factor in the decline of the two Alexander Counties. Neither community has had the infrastructure nor the funds to fix their dire situation. Alexander County exemplifies rural America in microscale, illustrating the racial tensions and isolation felt by black communities and the abandonment felt by struggling farmers facing submerged fields, lacking the political capital to sway the legislators who could fix their housing and flooding crises. The rivers straddling the county’s borders, once providing commerce and agricultural abundance, now act as the greatest threat to the livelihoods of those who remain. However, the Ohio and Mississippi are not responsible for the manmade decline of Alexander County; they may be the force which depopulates the humble lowlands for good.

I hope as you’re reading this essay online, you will reflect on what has attributed to the historic population shift of your own rural community, because rural population decline is a fact, but it’s not the whole story.

3 Takeaways for rural leaders

My takeaway from learning about Alexander County, Illinois, is that our greatest actions as a leader are to

1. show up with some hard facts
2. guide conversations that develop strong relationships on both sides of an issue
3. ultimately work on building trust

As local leaders — whether you are a volunteer, elected, or paid — our actions or lack thereof have long-term consequences.

Any community that chooses to die a long slow death like Alexander County, Illinois, is most often filled with local volunteer leaders, elected officials, and residents who are not open to looking at data, making hard choices, addressing conflict, exploring what’s possible, or working on unity around the core issues of what it means to be a thriving community or region.

********

My county’s numbers and our strategies

In Marshall County, South Dakota, where I live, population decline has been constant since the 1920s when our population peaked at 9,596 people. This is common for many rural counties. Every decade after the 1930s Marshall County has lost between 5% and 15% of our population, except for in 2010 when the Census showed an uptick of 1.7% growth. Now with a population of 4,656, which is approximately a 50% decline in population over time, we are a thriving region.

To address our challenges over the years, Marshall County, South Dakota, has made critical investments and implemented various innovative strategies to attract and retain as many residents as possible as economies have shifted. Some of those efforts were:

• Economic Diversification – Developing an industrial park in the 1970s in Britton and attracting Horton Industry was a lasting monumental move as the agriculture industry began shifting away from family farming, more women were entering the workforce, and higher paying jobs with benefits were needed. Now several manufacturing businesses operate in Britton as a hub for hundreds of regional jobs. In the 1990’s our regional economy diversified by adding a large dairy operation.
• Investment in infrastructure – This is more than streets, water towers, and sewer lifts — it’s about starting a rural water system, investing in the hospital multiple times, supporting emergency services, making parks accessible for everyone, focusing on tourism, historic courthouse rehab and expansion, and keeping Main Streets alive.
• Promotion of quality-of-life factors – The redevelopment of Ft. Sisseton Historic State Park, implementing local events, promoting the lakes region, quality libraries & museums, and supporting youth sports are just a few factors in our region.
• Support for entrepreneurship – The catalyst for local entrepreneurship was when we partnered with Dakota Rising in a three-county collaboration. Today the culture of starting your own business is alive and supported by economic development.
• Collaboration among community stakeholders – Having visionary leaders and mentors to keep developing those leaders over the decades is critical to our success in Marshall County. Whether it was the creation of Britton Area Foundation or starting Glacial Lakes Area Development, local leaders have spearheaded change for our communities.
• Initiatives focusing on rural healthcare access – Having our own hospital and ambulance service is vital. We also have a strong County Nurse position who visits schools, brings in the Delta Dental van, and educates our community.
• Evolving education – Changing with the times and collaboration has been a key factor in the success of our two remaining K-12 schools in Marshall County. Whether it’s starting a High School Trap Shooting Team or allowing students to become apprentices/interns at local businesses, we put students first, promote excellence, and let students know they are welcome to thrive in the region after high school.
• Broadband connectivity – Partnering with our local cooperative, Venture Communications, has put us on the forefront of advanced technology.

When faced with the data of declining rural population, instead of viewing our rural places as a relic of an idyllic past, we must recognize the innovative spirit that made our communities vibrant along the way. That innovation remains key to the future of our rural places. The good news is that innovation, diversity of ideas and people, and new concepts don’t need to be imported to your rural community – they’re already there.

*Map Source: 2020 US Census Demographic Data Map Viewer, accessed August 2023, https://mtgis-portal.geo.census.gov/arcgis/apps/MapSeries/index.html?appid=2566121a73de463995ed2b2fd7ff6eb7

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By Paula Jensen

Intuitive decision making is based on gut feelings, past experiences, and personal judgment. It involves using our instincts and emotions to decide, without relying heavily on data and analysis.

Data-driven decision making is based on objective data and analysis. It involves collecting and analyzing relevant data to identify patterns, trends, and insights, which are then used to make informed decisions.

Let me share a small-town leadership story.

About three years ago, I was in a board meeting with an economic development organization discussing their need to attract workforce for about 90 local job openings. The economic development director shared a couple recent stories about how limited housing stock was a big barrier for attracting more workforce. After a short discussion, one of the board members stated firmly, “I’m a realtor. We do NOT have a housing problem! There are currently twelve homes for sale and multiple apartment vacancies.” At that point, the conversation stopped.

Both people were accurate in their reports, yet in hindsight what was missing from the conversation was some quality secondary data available from their local housing study. The Housing Study, completed by a third-party, stated:

“The community has a stock of older, lower valued homes, of which 59% need minor or major repairs and another 3% are dilapidated. Our analysis of sales activity indicates that approximately 50% of the homes are valued less than $75,750. As some lower valued homes come up for sale, they may not be attractive options for potential home buyers because of the amount of repair work that is required.” In addition, the housing study recommended, “approximately 10 to 15 additional rental units will be needed over the next five years to replace lost units. This replacement is appropriate due to the deteriorating condition of older, substandard rental housing that should be removed from the occupied stock.”

Data can open conversation to new possibilities

In the story above, the economic development director’s intuition was indicating that housing was a strong barrier to workforce attraction. But imagine if that intuition had been backed up with the data from the housing study? That data could have opened the conversation about quality housing being the issue, not the number available units.

I am happy to report, three years after this initial conversation the economic development organization is using intuition (knowing their community) and data (their updated housing study) to move toward solutions that will ultimately address the housing quality issue and attract workforce.

Combining the two approaches of intuitive and data-driven decision making can be very powerful. Intuition can provide a valuable starting point, helping decision makers to identify potential options and narrow down choices. Data analysis can then be used to validate and support these options, providing objective evidence to back up intuitive decisions.

By uncovering the story told by the data, it can also help us see patterns, understand the meaning behind the data, and become more proactive rather than being reactionary to issues as they pop up.

Ultimately, the best approach will depend on the specific situation and the decision being made. In some cases, intuition may be more important, while in others, data may be the key factor. The most effective decision makers can balance both approaches, using intuition to guide them, and data to validate and support their decisions.

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Paula Jensen, The Community Coach

Living in a small town, we are often inclined to see change in our community as a threat to ourselves and our way of life. When we feel threatened by change, uncertainty rears its ugly head and our negativity often takes over. We say things like

“What’s wrong with the way we’ve always done it?”

or “Why do we need something new? The old one’s just fine.”

or “We can’t afford that.”

or “That will never work, we’ve tried it before.”

And, sometimes we just outright disguise our negativity as facts, experience, or helpful guidance.

Every day as a community coach I work with rural changemakers to develop their thriving small towns. These passionate people explore what’s possible and create local vision. They work diligently to engage more people in the process and listen with curiosity to make ideas stronger. They seek outside resources and partnerships to fund projects. But along the way, these rural changemakers always encounter one common denominator – negativity.

One rural changemaker stated this:

When the negative voices in our community start to make noise, it pulls us away from our purpose and each other… pretty soon people start believing what’s the loudest rather than searching for what’s possible.”

How to change the negativity habit

So, the overarching question is, how might a community change its negativity habit? James Clear, author of Atomic Habits writes:

The root of behavior change and building better habits is your identity. Each action you perform is driven by the fundamental belief that it is possible. So, if you change your identity (what you believe you are), then it is easier to change your actions.”

If you agree with James Clear that building better habits starts with changing your identity, then the answer to the question above is to create a new community identity. What if you became known as a thriving community of rural changemakers?

It can start with one. One rural changemaker – YOU – can master your own mindset and manage the negativity habit that exists around you. Then ask other rural changemakers to join you on this quest for a thriving community.

Practical steps to take

As you gather your crowd of rural changemakers and engage with others who are stuck in the negativity habit take these conscious actions to constructively engage

1. Show confidence in your skills, abilities, and your new identity as a rural changemaker.
2. Listen to others intently and with curiosity to shift from problem mode to solution mode.
3. Say, “I don’t have the answer right now.” Diffuse negativity by tactfully supplying a well-thought-out response later.
4. Redirect conversations by talking about what’s possible.
5. Ask for solutions that could resolve problems from the past.
6. Turn complaints into opportunities by brainstorming ideas.
7. Focus on what is within your control, not things you cannot control.
8. Test innovative ideas by implementing short 30-day action plans.
9. Celebrate your successes to create a community buzz.
10. Become stronger together by recognizing all the good things going on in the community and share those stories publicly.

Cutting out every bit of negativity is unrealistic, but we can learn to live responsively instead of reactively, being positive when others are negative. If we simply ensure our attitude as a rural changemaker aligns with our community’s vision, together we can and will thrive into the next generation.

Formal council meetings don’t automatically lead to two-way dialogue. Paula shares specific steps you can take for better dialogue.

By Paula Jensen

Quite simply, community dialogue is an exchange of ideas and experiences through listening, sharing, and questioning. At its best, community dialogue is created in a safe environment where a diverse group of people gather to talk and understand each other. Community dialogue at its worst looks something like the embarrassing story I am going to share about my own community members and town board.

The Town Board Meeting – The Old Way

A few years ago, there was a local issue flaring up in my community. Honestly, I can’t even remember the topic of the issue, but it was important enough that community residents were rallying together to attend the monthly town board meeting so they could have a voice in the decision-making process. I decided to attend. About 15-20 residents filed into the fire hall taking a seat on a folding chair or standing against the wall as the meeting was called to order. The town board and staff sat at a rectangle table at the front of the building. They moved through the approval of their agenda never acknowledging the small crowd to their back.

The crowd sat quietly and respectfully for the first 30 minutes, but then some chatter started in the back. After more than an hour the town board got to the issue at hand. The town board began discussion among themselves at the table, which was hard to hear because two of them had their backs to the group. Someone sitting toward the back of the room asked, “Could you speak up?” Again, the town board members never acknowledged the group but continued their discussion with each other about the issue at hand.

Suddenly something was said by one of the town board members that was clearly heard but not popular with the group. The man behind me started booing loudly! Others started talking and heckling. One person was saying, “Be quiet! I can’t hear.” One of the town board members then turned to ask the group to quiet down and show respect as they finish their discussion. Someone yelled, “Don’t we get to speak?” There was no response. The town board made their motion, voted, approved their decision, and moved to the next agenda item.

In the chaos, people started to realize the town board had moved past their issue, so they noisily filed out of the fire hall into the parking lot. The group was confused about what had just been decided and everyone was astonished that not one person was allowed to have a voice in the conversation. There was absolutely no dialogue allowed!

As I stood outside the fire hall, embarrassed and stunned by the behavior I had just witnessed in that meeting, it was obvious to me that my town leaders were frightened to engage the public and the public wasn’t equipped to engage in healthy community dialogue!

As a community coach, I regularly hear local leaders verbalize their fear that the negative voices will just take over and chaos will ensue if they host a community conversation. I assure you community dialogue doesn’t have to be frightening or end in chaos, instead it can create motivation and common vision.

What dialogue is and is not

When discovering how to fearlessly engage in good dialogue, it’s helpful to recognize what dialogue IS NOT. Dialogue is not debate. In debate the goal is to be right. You believe your solution is the right solution, and your duty is to find flaws in the other solutions presented. Dialogue is also not about total agreement with others. People can be respectful to one another while not needing to agree with everything they believe and do.

On the other hand, dialogue IS a motivator of people and their communities. Dialogue helps people collectively work toward a common vision, understanding, or solution to an issue. People engaged in dialogue listen to understand perspectives, needs, expectations, or solutions. Dialogue is an opportunity for people to be heard and understood while displaying open-minded attitudes and a willingness to be wrong and accept change.

Practical Steps to healthy dialogue

Creating healthy community dialogue starts with one…YOU. To get started, the next time you engage in dialogue with an individual or small group, practice listening to understand rather than listening to respond. Allow for two-way collaborative communication by asking a series of open-ended questions such as What’s happening? What’s your one biggest challenge? How can I help? What do you want in the end? or What are the possible solutions?

Throughout your dialogue practice just remember it’s about three simple behaviors: listening, sharing, and questioning. You can do it!

More practical help for officials and boards

SaveYour.Town’s video Idea Friendly Officials and Boards offers practical steps community leaders can take immediately to improve how they connect with the community, encourage individuals to take initiative, and support more positive action.

• Look at a new way to see your role as an official, one that puts you in the center of the network
• Discover your superpower as an official and put your connections to work for you
• Turn public gripe sessions into crowdsourcing events that mobilize people into action
• Learn the one question that turns even bad ideas into something positive

Learn more about it at LearnTo.SaveYour.Town.

My husband is a mechanic. The tools of his trade are important to his work. He has a large toolbox with many drawers lined in soft black padding. His tools lay clean and organized inside each drawer for easy access when he needs the right tool for a job. Yet, when things get busy tools don’t get wiped clean, and they don’t get put back into that organized toolbox. This is when frustration levels rise, every job gets harder, and jobs take longer because he’s looking everywhere for the right tool.

Like a mechanic needs easy access to the right tools, our local community economic development (CED) organizations need easy access to the right tools — like public policy. In most rural communities, the development organization is the one group responding to the local needs that neither the market economy nor government is fully satisfying. These development organizations are working mostly alone to create solutions for housing, daycare, business retention and expansion, workforce issues, leadership development, and other quality of life issues. One organization cannot effectively tackle all these local issues alone. If the role of public policy is not in place to support development, then local frustration levels rise, every project gets harder to do, and progress takes longer because development leaders can’t grab the right tool from the toolbox.

Nine components of community and economic development

I was community coaching in a small town recently with twelve local leaders. This group represented city council members, county commissioners, and the economic development board of directors. We were mapping out their community and economic development model.

This model included the components of:

1. business attraction
2. existing business
3. entrepreneurship
4. workforce/education
5. infrastructure
6. quality of life
7. leadership development
8. storytelling/branding
9. role of public policy

As each person was journaling their lists of activities in the nine areas, the mayor asked me for an example under the column labeled, “Role of Public Policy”. To prompt his brainstorming, I asked, “To support community economic development, have you hired a code enforcement officer or implemented the Municipal Gross Receipts Tax?”

As we worked together that evening, the group named two activities under the role of public policy – 1) Implementing Zoning and 2) Code Enforcement. Those are both good supporting public policies. Yet, as I looked over their collective work, it concerned me that a room with many elected officials could only name two public policies to support development. In that moment the story I told myself was, elected officials don’t know their role in public policy when it comes to supporting development.

So, what’s missing that could help elected officials connect the dots between the role of public policy and community economic development?

Goals of community development

A first step toward connecting those dots may be to define and understand development in your community. In addition to the nine components of the development model I listed above, below are a few general goals of any typical development organization:

Goal 1. Building Greater Community Capacity and Quality of Life

Goal 2. Nurturing Pride, Self-Reliance, and Leadership

Goal 3. Enhancing Skills and Attracting a Quality Workforce

Goal 4. Developing Businesses that are Responsive to Social and Economic Needs

Goal 5. Fostering Balanced, Fair, and Sustainable Economic Development

Example public policies to support community economic development

A next step is to explore public policies other communities are implementing to achieve their goals. Some examples of existing policies include:

1. Investing in workforce attraction/retention incentives
2. Prioritizing financial investments for paid staff of local housing, chamber, and economic development organizations, along with joint agreements on desired impacts
3. Implementing a city sales tax, Municipal Gross Receipts Tax or lodging tax
4. Implementing discretionary tax formulas to support housing improvements and business development
5. Implementing local Main Street beautification and façade programs
6. Creating an ecosystem of supporting local business to increase local sales tax
7. Investing in quality-of-life and recreational amenities
8. Utilizing Tax Increment Financing
9. Prioritizing Planning & Zoning
10. Owning or supplementing local daycare facilities.

Together, elected officials and economic development leaders can connect the dots between the role of public policy and community economic development by visioning for the future, naming the local needs, setting some goals, and innovatively developing public policy as a tool to create a thriving rural community.

I watched Jon Stewart’s Political Comedy ‘Irresistible’. The story is set in small-town Wisconsin. The community has recently suffered a devastating loss of their main employer. In response, a failed political consultant from Washington, D.C. lands himself a gig helping a local veteran run for Mayor against the long-time incumbent. The consultant, planning to use this situation for his own political gain, sends out his first press release to the national media titled, Small Town Small Minds. When I saw that headline on the screen I said to my husband, who was half asleep, “Did you see that headline? I can’t believe it said Small Towns Small Minds!” This is where you tell me — it’s just a movie – but why are small towns almost always portrayed as marginal, fragile communities disjoined from the rest of the nation?

In a January 3, 2020, Washington Post article titled, The harmful, popular misconceptions about rural America, Christopher Ingraham, a reporter and resident from small town Minnesota wrote, “There are as many different modes of being an American as there are towns, or families, or individuals living in this country. The mantle of “real American” — and all the scrutiny, assumptions and mythmaking that come with it — is a burden that none of us should have to bear alone, but rather is one that we can all share.”

Bearing the scrutiny that these rural stereotypes bring on us is a complex challenge. It will need collaboration, innovation and hard work. Communities with strong human capital, regional connections and a focus on available assets can create opportunities to solve this long-standing, complex issue.

By taking a step toward action, reaching across differences, engaging with fellow influencers and focusing on local assets YOU can make your town a good place to live and breakdown rural stereotypes. Here’s a list I jump-started for you:

1. Identify existing assets that offer opportunities for growth and develop strategies to support them. Assets might include infrastructure, skills, cultural, people, social, funding, green space and leadership.
2. Engage all residents and organizations to develop a vision for the community’s future. Stakeholder engagement will ensure the vision reflects existing goals and generate public support that can maintain momentum for change through election cycles.
3. Seek outside support and funding that can be applied strategically to the community’s vision. Even in small amounts, these resources can increase local commitment and incentivize private investment.
4. Encourage collaboration within the community and across the region to strengthen jointly held priorities.

We must not let negative language about our small towns persist. So, get engaged in creating solutions to overcome rural stereotypes that blight our public image.

I was on my second video conference of the day earlier last week and a peer in the meeting said, “Time-out! I need to ask everyone a question.” We all agreed, and he said, “What would you be doing this weekend, if the world hadn’t fallen apart?” Some people answered by saying they would be meeting with friends or family for a meal. Others offered special events like getting fitted for their wedding dress. Many mentioned normal things — laundry, cooking, kids, housework, or binge-watching Netflix. But, whatever the answer, we all agreed the way we are living and working today is much different than one month ago.

So, what if I changed that question just a bit and asked you, “How is your community doing after the world fell apart?”

Things are changing quickly around us — what we knew to be true yesterday, might not be true today and our tomorrow is unclear. And, I’m told change is something rural communities don’t do very well.

Rural communities are often publicly criticized for being slow to change. We prove that point by making disparaging remarks about our own hometowns and are quick to reject new ways of getting things done. Too often people around us say, “We’re fine the way we are.” Those actions lead the world to believe we are in a holding pattern. It sends a negative message that rural communities are not worthy of investment. And, if those mindsets are believed locally it leads toward a path of decline.

My life’s work is focused on empowering and connecting rural communities. To support that work, I recently learned a new facilitation practice called Strategic Doing. It is based on four principles of collaborative action that can lead to change in our organizations, communities, and society. We believe… 1) we have a responsibility to build a prosperous sustainable future for ourselves and future generations; 2) no individual, organization or place can build that future alone; 3) open, honest, focused and caring collaboration among diverse participants is the path to accomplishing clear, valuable, shared outcomes; and 4) in doing, not just talking – in alignment with our beliefs.

When I think about rural’s relationship with change, the Strategic Doing practice excites me! It has the potential to help diverse groups of people create lasting change through a new way of working together. Strategic Doing isn’t about fixing the old system – it’s about designing what’s next based on what is valued most!

And, what I discovered in the past few weeks, because of the shifts due to the pandemic, has been quite the opposite of the criticism – rural is slow to change. I have observed rural communities, with well-connected economic development professionals and progressive local leadership, respond quickly to learn new technology so they could connect proactively with numerous partners to meet the immediate and future needs of the community. Rural leaders and their partners are naturally stepping into pieces of the Strategic Doing process to ask the questions: What could we do? What should we do? What will we do? and Who will do it?

The real test for all of us in rural communities will be based on how we continue to embrace change — new ideas, new supportive practices, new technology, new leaders and new ways to lead — after the pandemic has gone.

By Paula Jensen

Have you ever experienced a time when you could envision what needs to happen but had no idea what to stop doing in order to reach the point of success?

Here is a simple example: This year at Santa Day in my community someone asked, “Why do we give away turkeys to families during this event – it seems like a waste of funds and fundraising time?” My immediate thought was – it’s a long-standing tradition. In my community we have always collected money from local businesses to give away turkeys on Santa Day. Over the decades the number of volunteers hosting Santa Day has decreased along with the number of businesses, so now businesses and individuals generously donate to our local community group to provide turkey donations for Santa Day. The truth is raising money isn’t hard in our community, but no one has ever asked the question, “Do people really want a turkey for Christmas?” How do we continue the tradition of generosity, but do it without the turkey?

Sometimes we get stuck in a cycle that loses the real purpose of why we started something. Communities often just do what they’ve always done and honestly, it is frequently good work. But when that good work stops having a purpose or producing results because our world has shifted, people really can’t understand why. This is where conflict can begin. A good question to ask each other at times like this is — What should our community stop doing to reach our fullest potential? 

The Stop Doing List can be an important conversation for any community, and it should include its companion the Do Differently List. Together they offer an innovative path toward your fullest potential. What could your community stop doing in 2020 that would brighten your future?

Below is my short list of things communities could stop doing and replace with new ways of leading and doing.

1. Stop having meetings. So often we sit in unproductive meetings that go off track, last too long and never produce results. It really makes people not want to be involved. Try setting a purpose for your meeting in advance, ask people to co-create the agenda and then set time limits for each agenda item to keep you on track.
2. Stop saying “rural is dying”. The truth is, if you’re not trying, you’re dying! In the past decade, the communities who are collaborating regionally and actively working on housing, community and economic development will likely see an uptick in population in the 2020 Census. They are trying! You can check https://factfinder.census.gov/ for population estimates in your town or county.
3. Stop relying on elected leaders. While many communities have excellent leaders, others struggle to fill important community positions, contributing to a wide divergence of capacity. Believe in yourself and cultivate the leader within you. Then cultivate leadership in those around you to develop local vision, community approaches to problem solving and generate funding for projects. We all can contribute to local success.
4. Stop believing more jobs is the answer. Entrepreneurship is the key to creating jobs and retaining young residents in small towns. Creating an entrepreneurial ecosystem strengthens communities and regions by building partnerships among education, industry, and financial sectors.

Now it’s your turn — What else would you add to your community’s Stop Doing List that could help reach its fullest potential? 

How do we as parents set our kids up to lead into the future? Photo via USDA

By Paula Jensen

It seems I have almost always been interested in leadership.  My parents modeled leadership as I was growing up through their active roles in community, church, and school.  I joined 4-H at the age of eight, was called a “ring-leader” as an elementary student (which I don’t think this was a compliment) and continued to take on leadership roles throughout high school, college and beyond.  But my most important leadership role is as a parent. Through this role I’ve learned that all the wisdom and love in the world doesn’t necessarily protect any of us from parenting in ways that could potentially hold our children back from thriving, gaining independence and becoming the leaders they have the potential to be.

I was intrigued as I read an article by Dr. Tim Elmore and learned about how we as parents are keeping our children from becoming the next generation of leaders that are needed in this world.  The article shared seven harmful parenting behaviors that keep our children from becoming leaders – of their own lives and of the world they will live in:

1. We don’t let our children experience risk – We live in a world that warns us of danger and mistrust at every turn. The “safety first” preoccupation constantly reinforces our fear of losing our kids, so we do everything we can to insulate them from healthy risk-taking behavior and it’s had an adverse effect. Kids need to fail a few times to learn it’s normal. If parents remove risk from children’s lives, we will likely experience high arrogance and low self-esteem in our growing leaders.
2. We rescue too quickly – Today’s generation of young people has not developed some of the life skills kids did 30 years ago because adults swoop in and take care of problems for them. When we rescue too quickly and over-indulge our children with “assistance,” we remove the need for them to navigate hardships and solve problems on their own. It’s parenting for the short-term and it sorely misses the point of leadership—to equip our young people to do it without help. Sooner or later, kids get used to someone rescuing them: “If I fail or fall short, an adult will smooth things over and remove any consequences for my misconduct.” When in reality, this isn’t even remotely close to how the world works, and therefore it disables our kids from becoming competent adults.
3. We rave too easily – Kids quickly observe that Mom and Dad are the only ones who think they’re awesome when no one else is saying it. They begin to doubt the objectivity of their parents; it feels good in the moment, but it’s not connected to reality. When we rave too easily and disregard poor behavior, children eventually learn to cheat, exaggerate and lie.
4. We let guilt get in the way of leading well – Your kids will get over the disappointment of you telling them “not now” or “no”, but they won’t get over the effects of being coddled. Let them fight for what they really value and need. As parents, we tend to give them what they want when rewarding our children, especially with multiple kids. When one does well in something, we feel it’s unfair to praise and reward that one and not the other. This is unrealistic and misses an opportunity to enforce the point to our kids that success is dependent upon our own actions and good deeds. Be careful not to teach them a good grade is rewarded by a trip to the mall. If your relationship is based on material rewards, kids will experience neither intrinsic motivation nor unconditional love.
5. We don’t share our past mistakes – Healthy teens are going to want to spread their wings and they’ll need to try things on their own. We as adults must let them, but that doesn’t mean we can’t help them navigate these waters. Share with them the relevant mistakes you made when you were their age in a way that helps them learn to make good choices. (Avoid negative “lessons learned” having to do with smoking, alcohol, illegal drugs, etc.) Also, kids must prepare to encounter slip-ups and face the consequences of their decisions. Share how you felt when you faced a similar experience, what drove your actions, and the resulting lessons learned. Because we’re not the only influence on our kids, we must be the best influence.
6. We mistake intelligence, giftedness and influence for maturity – Intelligence is often used as a measurement of a child’s maturity, and as a result parents assume an intelligent child is ready for the world. That’s not the case. Some professional athletes and Hollywood starlets, for example, possess unimaginable talent, but still get caught in a public scandal. Just because giftedness is present in one aspect of a child’s life, don’t assume it pervades all areas. There is no magic “age of responsibility” or a proven guide as to when a child should be given specific freedoms, but a good rule of thumb is to observe other children the same age as yours. If you notice that they are doing more themselves than your child does, you may be delaying your child’s independence.
7. We don’t practice what we preach – As parents, it is our responsibility to model the life we want our children to live. To help them lead a life of character and become dependable and accountable for their own words and actions. As the leaders of our homes, we can start by only speaking honest words – white lies will surface and slowly erode character. Watch yourself in the little ethical choices that others might notice, because your kids will notice too. If you don’t cut corners, for example, they will know it’s not acceptable for them to either. Show your kids what it means to give selflessly and joyfully by volunteering for a service project or with a community group. Leave people and places better than you found them, and your kids will take note and do the same.

Raising children who are strong independent leaders is not about their happiness today, but about their readiness for their many tomorrows. The truth is, parents who are able to focus on tomorrow, not just today, produce better results.

How can we as parents move away from these behaviors that are holding our children back?

It’s important for us as parents to become exceedingly self-aware of our words and actions when interacting with children. Care enough to train them, not merely treat them to a good life. Coach them, more than coddle.  And try these 10 ideas as a starting point:

1. Talk over the issues you wish you would’ve known about adulthood.
2. Allow them to attempt things that s-t-r-e-t-c-h them and even let them fail.
3. Discuss future consequences if they fail to master certain disciplines.
4. Aid them in matching their strengths to real-world problems.
5. Furnish projects that require patience, so they learn to delay gratification.
6. Teach them that life is about choices and trade-offs; they can’t do everything.
7. Initiate adult-like tasks such as paying their own bills or making business deals.
8. Introduce them to community mentors in an area of interest to them.
9. Help them envision a fulfilling future, and then discuss the steps to get there.
10. Celebrate the progress they make toward independence and responsibility.

Video: Connecting with Kids

SaveYour.Town created a video to show how they connect with kids and help them to play a role in shaping the future of their town. The Connecting with Kids video is available at SaveYour.Town.